It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
