take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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