i just sent this text using only my big toe
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
