yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
