She's JV to your varsity
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
