is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
