You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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