This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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