hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
