hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize