I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
