I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
