So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
