i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
