is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
