i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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