I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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