My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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