If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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