So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
