Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can't special order awesome
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
