hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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