Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
