1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she told me i tasted like america
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
