Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
