I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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