I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
