im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
