i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
