I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
