The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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