i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
time to smoke my breakfast
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
