My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
