Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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