How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
