Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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