he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
