awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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