I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
