i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
