She's JV to your varsity
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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