I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
