I wanna bring you to show and tell
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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