why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
