he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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