carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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