Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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