I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
