They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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