D3 body, D1 cock
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
