You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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