PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
