peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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