Someone shit on the floor
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
