we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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