And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
