I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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