I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize