'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
