the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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