Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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