i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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