You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
