Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
